Was ist im Krieg passiert??

(What's goin on in the war back down there??)

Danke. I mean, I appreciate the compliment but, if you don't mind, would it be possible to fill me in on how the Vaterland is making out in the war back there?

Oh yeah, that... Sorry if we're running a bit slow here, so many people getting killed in this thing particularly over on that Easten front that we've been running behind pretty consistently, and a couple of years have gone by since you got killed. The war is pretty much over, and I'm afraid I can't really say that it turned out terribly well for Deutschland. This is what Hamburg looks like, can't really say any of the other major cities look much better...

Scheisse!!! I mean, geez, I halfway expected it to turn out bad, but not THAT bad. So you're telling me that England and Russia won??

Not exactly. I mean, this is what London looks like and there isn't really anything in England which looks much better, and that empire they used to own is pretty much history, judge for yourself:

Geeeeez... What about Russia?

Not much better. This is Stalingrad:

What about the Yanks? Isn't there some sort of a cosmic law against anything bad ever happening to them??

If you didn't know better, you'd think they'd survived relatively unscathed. But the hell of it is the whole world is sort of interconnected at this point and this much chaos will eventually filter down on their heads too, just takes a bit longer. One example is cars, they went from building all those beautiful ships and airplanes in 44 and 45 straight back to building the same horrible ugly cars the day the war ended. Kind of a winner's brain-death syndrome or something like that.

Weiter...